Rules for Writers. NOT

Rules for Writers. NOT

Written by Anthony C. Winkler and Jo Ray McCuen-Metherell in Writing the Research Paper, A Handbook. Boston: Wadsworth. 2008. pp. 138
Here is a fun list of the sort of revisions writers most often make in their work. You can use it to guide your hand in revising your paper and to be amused while doing so.



1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfl uous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Don’t use no double negatives.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice should never be used.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
23. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
24. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
25. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
26. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
27. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
28. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
29. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
30. Who needs rhetorical questions?
31. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
32. Do not put statements in the negative form.
33. A writer must not shift your point of view.
34. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of ten or more words, to their antecedents.
35. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
36. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
37. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
38. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
39. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
40. Always pick on the correct idiom.
41. The adverb always follows the verb.
42. Be careful to use the rite homonym.
43. Proofread carefully to see if you any words